


let's make America great

by youlooksogoodintiffanyblews



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Melanie Martinez (Musician), My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/F, F/M, Halsey - Freeform, M/M, No Smut, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Political, conservative tyler, fall out boy - Freeform, liberal josh, this is my first thing, twenty one pilots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youlooksogoodintiffanyblews/pseuds/youlooksogoodintiffanyblews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler Joseph and Joshua Dun are both very political. </p><p>Tyler is a conservative Trump supporter. </p><p>Josh #feelsthebern.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. tyler at the rally

**Author's Note:**

> hi frens i came up with this idea in the shower and i wrote all of it at midnight. clearly the mark of high quality work enjoy. 
> 
> warning: if you support donald trump this is not the fic for you
> 
> this is gonna have more chapters i just have no idea how to make it look that way sorry

"NOW LETS MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" Tyler chanted with the crowd. He and his friend Mark had been looking forward to Donald Trump's campaign rally in Columbus for months. Tyler was so involved in Mr. Trump's speech that he almost didn't notice the group of teenagers suddenly standing and chanting another slogan that he couldn't quite make out. _Feel the burn_? he contemplated. Confused, he tried to ignore them, but suddenly a boy with bright red hair and lots of tattoos started screaming something else at Mr. Trump, something about the injustness of his immigration policy. Tyler tried to ignore the boy, but couldn't. He snuck a glance at him again. He looked about his age. Tyler swore he knew him from somewhere. Maybe they went to the same school.

Tyler realized that he had completely spaced out on what was being said. Mark noticed, seeing him staring at the group. "Ignore them, they're just trying to make a scene," he said.

"Yeah," Tyler agreed, but he didn't stop subconsciously sneaking glances over at them.

Everyone had noticed them at this point, even Mr. Trump. In fact, he seemed about ready to snap at them with one of his trademark witty comments. This got Tyler excited-he loved seeing Trump take down his opponents. However, Trump just smiled and waved at them, offering to sign their shirts, to which the group booed. _What was the deal with their shirts?_ Tyler thought.

 

At the end of the speech, Tyler started pushing his way to the front of the crowd, hopeful to get a quote from Donald Trump for the school newspaper. He eventually managed to walk right up to him. "MR. TRUMP! MR. TRUMP, SIR, WOULD YOU MIND-"  
But he pushed right past him.  
Disappointed, he tried to reassure himself that Mr. Trump was a very busy man, and was obviously in a hurry, otherwise he would've talked to him. He could respect that.

He met up with Mark in the parking lot, telling him about how close he was to _the_ Donald Trump. He was focused on his story until he looked to his left and saw the redhead and his friends standing around a van. The odd group included a girl with a haircut better suited for a man, two brown-haired boys disgustingly making out, a short boy unironically wearing a fedora and glasses laughing with a tattooed man with ridiculously blonde hair, and many more. He saw the words "Bernie 2016" written on their shirts.  _Feel the BERN,_  he thought to himself, slightly amused. He quickly regained his senses-this was a group of liberal punks. They were opposed to everything that he believed in politically, why would he even possibly be interested in them-

"TYLER!" Mark shouted. Tyler had been spacing on the conversation again. "Are you okay? You keep looking at those people over there."

"I'm fine," he said, a bit too quickly. "And I'm not _looking_ at them, I'm just wondering what they're even doing here."

"I don't know, but they're not worth your time. Let's go to my house, Ty. I want to edit a bald eagle flying in the background into the video I got of Mr. Trump walking onstage."

Tyler looked over at the group one last time. They were chanting "FEEL THE BERN!" again, much to the disgust of Tyler and anyone within earshot of them.  _What a bunch of punks,_  Tyler thought.


	2. josh at the rally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we saw Tyler at the campaign rally. 
> 
> now let's see what jishwa was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys thanks for reading and showing support! it means a lot:)
> 
> so this is how it's gonna work. For each event/ time period there is one tyler chapter and one josh chapter. I'll try to release them on the same day or one day apart depending on time. but for now, here's the rally from Josh's point of view.

"NOW LETS MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" the crowd chanted. Josh booed, along with the rest of his group. Trump supporters frustrated him, and being around large groups of them didn't help.

Brendon, to his left, started to let out a stream of profanities, but Josh quieted him.

"We can't get kicked out of here yet, we haven't completed the mission," he reminded him.

Brendon rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir."

Josh grinned. "Alright guys, the next time Trump says something racist, start the chant-"

He didn't even finish his sentence before the group started chanting "FEEL THE BERN!" over and over. They got louder and louder, and attracted more and more attention. When Josh was sure Trump had noticed them, he signaled Andy to hoist him onto his shoulders, took a deep breath, and started his mini-speech. "IF YOU DENY ACCESS INTO THIS COUNTRY STRICTLY BASED ON RELIGION, YOU'RE DENYING OUR MOST BASIC RIGHTS!" he shouted. Or something like that, he was too nervous to really hear. Trump definitely saw them. The increased attention was starting to make him really nervous, so he had Andy put him down. He wasn't fully thinking straight when he noticed Trump saying something to them. The rest of the group cheered, so he went along with that.

 

After the rally, they met up in the parking lot by Josh's van. "So what was he saying to us?" Josh asked Ashley.

"He called us cute and offered to sign our shirts, which I consider a successful mission. Your thoughts, Captain Yoshua?" she asked in a way that military officers might communicate.

"Quite successful indeed, Lieutenant Halsey," he grinned, trying to mimic her voice. He loved her voice. He loved everything about her, really, but her voice was special. It had purpose.

"Permission to tell Brendon and Ryan to get a room, Captain?"

"Permission denied. Let them have their fun scaring off the homophobes."

"Yes, sir, Captain Yoshua," Ashley laughed.

Right on cue, an old white man walked over to Ashley and Josh. "Could you tell your two friends to stop kissing? It's disrespectful to the rest of us. My grandchildren are here and I don't want them exposed to these sins."

"Oh, of course, sir. While we're airing our grievances of public displays of affection, would you mind not holding your wife's hand? It makes me and my friends uncomfortable," Ashley snapped back.

The man stood there, stunned. He didn't know how to respond, other than grumbling some homophobic language under his breath and walking away. As soon as he was out of earshot, the two burst out laughing.

"Job well done, Lieutenant," Josh choked out between laughs.

"Thank you, sir. Permission to publicly display affection?" Ashley asked, in a slightly more flirty tone.

"Permission granted," Josh smiled as they started making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halsey is sassy as frick and I love her


	3. tyler's first day of school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi thanks for reading!
> 
> WARNING: tyler, mark, and jenna are really conservative and racist and islamophobic in this chapter and will be for a while. i'm not trying to offend anyone in any way. don't worry, they'll get better eventually:)

Tyler walked into school on the first day of his senior year with as much self confidence as he could manage to fake.

He took a deep breath and set foot on the campus. Right as he started walking, a flash of red flew right past him on a skateboard, causing him to jump out of his skin. He wanted to say something to the boy, something about being more careful, but he was too far away. He saw him do a flip on his board. _That was actually sick,_  Tyler thought before reminding himself that this boy almost ran him over.

Snapping into focus, Tyler started walking again. He quickly found Jenna by the big oak tree in the front of the school, where they had met since freshman year.

She ran up to him with a huge smile on her face and pulled him into an even bigger hug. "I missed you," she said in a sing-song voice.

"I missed you, too," he said, mimicking her tone of voice.

They were, in all honesty, the cutest couple in school. They were neighbors, and had been friends their entire lives. Everyone had always assumed they were dating throughout middle school due to the fact that they were such good friends. Tyler finally worked up the courage to officially ask her out freshman year, and they had been dating since.

Mark walked up, joining in the hug in an awkward attempt to be a part of the group. "I missed you guys SO MUCH!!!!!!!!" he mocked.

"Hi, Mark," Jenna and Tyler sighed in an oddly synchronized way.

"Hey, what do you guys have first period?" Mark asked, the group hug breaking apart.

"I have AP Political Science in room 21 and Jenna has Physics in room 23." They had memorized each other's schedules already, too.

"Sweet, I have Physics too." The bell rang. "Let's go, Jenna."

Tyler hugged his girlfriend one last time and went the opposite direction to his class. He hated walking alone, it made him feel more insecure than he already was.

He finally got to room 21. He took a seat close to the front and started placing his books and pencils on his desk in an organized way.

Right before the bell, the redhead that almost ran him over squeezed in the room right before the teacher. Tyler realized that the only open seat was right next to him. He sighed as the redhead plopped his bags down.

 _Redhead,_ Tyler contemplated. He had seen that unnatural shade of hair somewhere.

The entire class period consisted of the teacher rambling about the syllabus and the "increased homework load." Normally, Tyler would be listening, maybe even discreetly taking notes, but he couldn't stop thinking about the guy next to him. None of his friends or the people from church would dare to dye their hair. Where had he seen him before?

 _THE RALLY!_ he suddenly remembered. For a moment he began to wonder if he accidentally said that out loud because he had thought it so loudly. _It's the "feel the bern" guy that yelled at Mr. Trump,_  he recalled, _and I'm sitting next to him in POLITICS for a full semester._  He sank lower in his chair.

The rest of Tyler's classes until lunch passed without event. He had English with Mark second period and French with Jenna third.

After class, Tyler and Jenna held hands and walked to the oak tree for lunch, exchanging romantic phrases in French the whole way.

" _Unbelievable!_ " Mark almost shouted as he stormed up to the couple. "In calculus, I'm sitting next to _Aliyah!_ " 

"Aliyah," Jenna mumbled, "Isn't she the Muslim girl?"

"Yes," Mark hissed. "I can't believe she's even allowed in our school, let alone _sitting next to me._ "

"She was in my class last year. I never talked to her, but I heard she's the president of the Arabic Language Club," Jenna recalled.

"Yeah, 'Arabic Club.' They're probably communicating with ISIS leaders and planning bombings on the school and-"

"Mark, calm down. I don't think she's that extreme," Jenna cut him off.

Tyler was quiet the whole time. He usually was. He was never good at talking, his words always came out jumbled. So instead, he just listened to what other people said.

"I think she is! I saw her drawing weird symbols in her notebook. I bet they were bomb threats."

"Mark, that's ridiculous. But, if it makes you uncomfortable, just have the teacher move you somewhere else. That's what I did when she was in my class. I noticed she was there and told the teacher that our religious beliefs contradicted and asked her not to put us next to each other. She understood and I'm sure your teacher will too."

"I don't even feel comfortable with her being in our school!"

"She's not going to bomb the school," Jenna repeated. "Tyler, back me up on this."

"I don't know," Tyler thought," I mean, I doubt she would, but there's a chance. Hey, why don't you go to Arabic Club to see what they're doing? Say you're taking pictures for the newspaper or something."

"No way!" Mark yelled.

"I'll even go with you," Tyler said, regretting it in an instant. He hated talking to new people. "I'll interview her, too. We can do a whole article on the club for the newspaper." "Can't we have someone else do it? What about that guy Jack-"

"No. We have to figure this out for ourselves. Now, ask Aliyah when and where Arabic club meets tomorrow in class."

"I am not talking to that terroris-"

"She's not a terrorist!" Jenna yelled.

"Yet," Tyler concluded. "We'll find out at the next meeting."

Mark slumped into the tree, defeated. Tyler may not talk much, but when he did, he got his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i'm sorry if this was offensive to you. these are not things i believe, it's just part or writing conservative tyler:/ feel free to yell at me in the comments. 
> 
> ps room 21 yeah


	4. josh's first day of school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> josh is 449121x cooler than tyler at the moment. 
> 
> also i added some characters yay

Josh skated into school on the first day of his senior year with as much self confidence as he could manage to fake.

Sure, he put on a tough, punk kid act, but if you bothered to talk to him for all of 7 seconds, you'd realize he's an incredibly kind, but extremely shy person. How punk.

Josh had just moved into this town at the beginning of summer, so it was his first time in this school. Even though he had already made friends (and a girlfriend), he was ridiculously nervous-so nervous that he almost ran into someone on his skateboard. He tried to shout back an apology but it was too quiet to hear. He realized he would probably end up spending the day dwelling upon the rudeness of not yelling an apology loud enough.

Immediately upon reaching the school, he started looking for Ashley and the rest of his friends. He had no idea where he was going, but he tried his best to make it look like he did. Eventually, he found the group, thanks to Pete's bright pink hair.

"Your red hair inspired me," he remembered Pete had told him after he had dyed it.

"Yoshua!"

Josh snapped out of his trance as he saw his girlfriend running towards him. "Hey, Ashley! Hold on, let me get off of my skateboard fi- ASHLEY NO DONT JUMP-"

After a loud crash, the two were lying on the concrete, somehow not in pain, laughing their heads off. Their friends didn't even bother to see if they were okay; this had happened often enough that they were used to it. Instead, they laughed too. It was their thing- jumping into each other's arms bridal-style. Usually it was Ashley jumping into Josh's, but sometimes she liked to prove her strength and defiance to gender roles and made Josh jump into hers. Josh didn't mind; anytime he was around her he was happy. In all honesty, they were probably the cutest couple in school.

"Jishwa! Get up here and tell me you have first period with me!" shouted Brendon.

Still laughing, he and Ashley helped each other to their feet and walked over to the group standing by the school's sign.

"Uh, I have AP Political Science first period, I think," Josh recalled.

"Nerd," Ashley laughed. "Why are you even taking academic classes your senior year anyway?"

"That's the only one I'm taking. I technically failed that class when I got expelled last year, so I'm just making it up."

"What a rebel," she laughed.

"Oh, for sure," he laughed back.

Josh had been expelled twice. He called them his "honorable expulsions."

"Well, I have cabinet making," Brendon continued.

"Why are you taking cabinet making?" Josh and Ashley said in an oddly synchronized way.

"The cabinet in our apartment is broken and we're too cheap to hire someone to fix it," he explained.

"Ryan's taking auto shop so he can finally fix that engine thing in our van. Plus, I can tell, he's gonna look _hot_  fixing cars. Like, picture it. He'll rub the grease off of his face in that really sexy way and run his fingers through his hair-"

"Thank you, Brendon." Josh rolled his eyes. "Hey, what class do you have first period?" he asked Ashley.

"I have meteorology in room 93," she said, looking at her schedule.

"Nerd," Josh mimicked. "Why are you even taking academic classes your senior year anyway?"

She shoved his arm, almost knocking him down. She was doing it in a joking way, of course, but she was _strong._  "I didn't do so great in Biology, so they threw me in a random science class to make it up, I guess. This is the first time I've even looked at my schedule."

The bell rang, cutting her off. "Room 93 is on the _other side of school,_ " she groaned.

"I'm giving you a ride then. Get on," he said, gesturing to his skateboard.

"You're the best, Yoshua," she grinned. They rode through the hallways, squeezing on the board together and earning some dirty looks from teachers. It made Josh slightly nervous that teachers already didn't like him, but being with Ashley made him forget about that kind of thing.

Finally, they reached room 93. "Learn about some cool weather stuff for me," Josh said. "Thunderstorms, clouds, snow-"

"And _hurricanes._  I think hurricanes are actually pretty cool. I mean like, not cool how they kill people and damage entire cities but cool as in interesting and you know what I mean. Kiss me so I stop talking, please," Ashley grinned.

"I like hearing you talk, but if you say so," Josh grinned back, giving her a quick peck on the lips before heading off to his class. Politics was in room 21, on the opposite side of school. He had 2 minutes to get there. Trying his hardest not to panic, he took off for the class, almost skating into some lost-looking freshman. Again, his apology was too quiet to be heard. He needed to work on that. He also needed to work on not running people over.

He squeezed into class right before the teacher. Disappointed that he had already left a bad impression, he found the only open seat and tried his best to focus. The teacher seemed pretty nice, unlike his last politics teacher at his old school. Maybe this class would be better this year.

He caught a quick glance at the boy sitting next to him. He didn't seem too interested, either. Maybe they would be friends.

 

Josh's other classes lacked eventfulness. It was finally lunchtime. He decided to text Ashley to figure out where she was.

yoshua: yo where r u

halsey: im @ art class in room 27

yoshua: k wait there ill give u a ride

halsey: sweet thank you honeymuffins

yoshua: honeymuffins?

halsey: yes

yoshua: what even is a honeymuffin

yoshua: i have never had a muffin with honey

halsey: shut up and get over here so i can go buy you a honeymuffin

"Honeymuffins has arrived!" Josh shouted, picking Ashley up and putting her on the board.

"Let's go," she laughed. "Meet Ryan in the parking lot. We all squeeze into the van and hit up Taco Bell."

"Sweet," Josh said as he started riding the board. "Hey, did you get any facts about hurricanes yet?"

"Nah, not yet. We just got syllabuses and stuff."

"Isn't it syllabi?"

"Shut up, nerd. Hey, what other classes are you taking?"

"Uh, candlemaking and Korean. And I have newspaper after lunch."

"Why?"

"Candles are cool and I want to be able to use Korean in my Instagram captions. It's very aesthetic."

"And why newspaper?"

"I want to blow up the politics section with my democratic socialist views."

"Fair enough. Hey, there's Ryan's van." Ryan had one of those really big, creepy-looking white vans. It technically held eight people, but in a very organized and highly illegal method of lap-sitting, you could fit at least six more people, plus one more if someone agreed to sit in the trunk. There were 14 people in the van: Brendon, Ryan, Patrick, Pete, Andy, Joe, Hayley, Melanie, Ray, Frank, Gerard, Mikey, Ashley, and Josh. They-except for Josh-had worked together at the music shop forever (plus half of them were dating each other), so they were all comfortable with squeezing in as tight as possible.

Josh was sitting on Ashley's lap ("Why do I have to sit on your lap? Sexism. That's why. Get on my lap," she had insisted) in the back row of the van. Everyone was having their own individual conversations until Brendon turned up the radio. Some Britney Spears song was on, and everyone in the car stopped their conversations immediately to start singing it. Brendon cranked up the volume all the way and everyone rolled down their windows, shouting the lyrics at random strangers. The car radio broke halfway through the song, but everyone kept singing anyways.

"Guess I'll have fix that," Ryan sighed, pulling into the Taco Bell parking lot.

Brendon was sitting in the passenger seat, but Josh could tell from the back that he was smiling.

 

Their food was already made and ready to go when the group walked into Taco Bell. They went there every day, and the workers knew all of their names as well as their usual orders.

"Thanks, Gabe," they all said to the cashier as they scraped dollars out of the bottoms of their backpacks to pay for their cheap tacos.

They headed to their booth, the one that was basically reserved for them. Everyone was talking at once. Josh sat back and listened, picking up bits and pieces of conversations.

"Have you seen Mr. Weekes? He's super hot-"

"I swear to God I'm going to strangle everyone in my entire Spanish class-"

"I made this sick pot in pottery today-"

"DUDE YOU TOOK THE NACHO WITH ALL OF THE CHEESE ON IT-"

"Andrew Hurley if you don't give me my phone right now-"

"No, there is no weed in pottery-"

"Maybe I should dye my hair blue-"

"YOSHUA!"

"WHAT?" Josh yelled, startled.

"Are you gonna eat your chips?" Ashley smiled.

"Of course I'm gonna eat my chips. Thank you for your concern."

"Dude, can you give me some? Pete stole mine."

"Pete, don't steal my girlfriend's food," Josh said, throwing a pack of salt across the table, hitting Pete's pink hair.

"DUDE. I SPENT AN HOUR DOING MY HAIR THIS MORNING. IF YOU MESSED IT UP-"

"Your hair looks  _fine,_ " Patrick reassured him. He leaned on Pete's shoulder and looked into his eyes, making Pete's cheeks turn almost the same shade as his hair.

While Pete was distracted in his boyfriend's eyes, Ashley grabbed her chips back. "Thanks, Pete," she laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was planning on adding more to this chapter but what a meme
> 
> i hope u guys are picking up on my dumb references bc im really proud of them (especially my room 93/hurricane one)
> 
> but yea might not get around to updating as much bc school but i promise it is not ending here i have so many ideas it's gonna be terrible but it's gonna be grEAT thanks for reading:) 
> 
> comments and kudos are always welcome i'll always try to reply to you & we can talk about feminism i'm always up for discussing gender bias


	5. tyler at newspaper club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time for everyone's favorite class of the day: newspaper
> 
> feat. Dallon Weekes
> 
> (guys i've been looking forward to witing dallon since i started this and im honestly so pumped what a bean)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you haven't noticed, i start each of the corresponding tyler/josh chapters with the same sentence.

Lunch ended, so Tyler gave his girlfriend a quick kiss goodbye and headed off to his next class, newspaper.

It was probably his favorite class of the day. He had been taking it since freshman year, and he was sure he would be promoted to editor of the politics section this year.

Mark walked beside him, fiddling with his camera and talking about his plans for photo layouts this year. He was already the paper's main photographer, and had been since last year.

Tyler was only half listening to Mark rambling, as something else had caught his attention.

The redhead from his politics class, walking into the newspaper room.

Tyler was furious. He didn't want his last year of his favorite class with his favorite teacher to be ruined by that _punk._  He silently hoped that they wouldn't end up working together.

"TYLER!" Mark yelled.

"WHAT-oh, sorry, Mark."

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine, let's go."

Mark seemed convinced, so they slipped into Mr. Fredrick's classroom, also known as the newspaper room.

 _Where is Mr. Fredrick?_  Tyler thought as he saw a very tall, brown-haired man standing at the front of the classroom.

As the bell rang, the man began to introduce himself. "Hello, class. I'm Mr. Weekes, your new newspaper advisor."

Tyler was in shock. _What had happened to Mr. Fredrick?_

"I know some of you may be wondering why your former advisor is no longer with us. Mr. Fredrick's wife contracted a terminal illness over the summer, so he decided to retire to spend more time with her," Mr. Weekes explained, seemingly reading Tyler's mind.

Tyler was heartbroken. He had been close with Mr. Fredrick. He was the oldest teacher in school, but Tyler thought he would stick around for at least another year. He made a mental note to pray for his wife later.

"Okay, let's get down to business. If you're a freshman or have no prior newspaper experience, go next door. I'll be in there with you in a minute." The freshmen and a few sophomores picked up their bags and left.

"Now, since I'm new, I know none of your names, skills, or experience. Your job is to show me what you can do. Write an article, conduct an interview, take some pictures, design a layout, do whatever your skill is. It can be about anything, but make sure it reflects who you are and what you hope to be doing this year. This is how I get to know you, so make sure it's good," he explained with a smile. "This will be due on Friday, so you have all week. Sorry, I'm the teacher that's already giving you homework. Good luck." He walked to the other room to work with the new kids.

Tyler wasted no time getting to work. He already knew what he was writing about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this is short, another chapter is coming soon:)
> 
> once again, thanks for reading this, i appreciate that you take time out of your day to read this anti-trump trash
> 
> im currently in a terrible mood bc the vikings lost
> 
> if you want to tell me about your day, rant about something, tell me your favorite song, describe how the color blue makes you feel, recommend me fics, talk about sexuality, or if it's 3 am and you need someone to talk to, i love getting comments and i would love to talk to you and hear what you think. so yea, stay street frens.


	6. josh in newspaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, short chapter. the next one will be longer, i promise.

Lunch ended, so as soon as the van arrived back at school, Josh gave his girlfriend a quick kiss goodbye and skated off to his next class, newspaper.

He went into the room earlier than usual. He was really excited about this class, but he made sure to look like he didn't care as much as he did.

At his former schools, he was always kicked out of newspaper because his political views "weren't appropriate." He then mustered up the courage to vocalize how freedom of speech was an American right, and things always went sour right about then.

But, so far, this school seemed to be more accepting of racial, religion, gender, and sexual differences. Things were looking up for Josh.

The door opened, and in came the boy he sat next to in politics. He still hadn't caught his name, but for some reason he was attracted to him. Not in a sexual way, of course, Josh had a girlfriend already. However, the boy was actually pretty cute. _But Ashley is cuter_ , he reminded himself. _Yes, this is a totally platonic kind of thing_.

Ashley and Josh were both bisexual. "Bi-buddies," Ashley had jokingly called them before they started dating. It was like they were meant to be: dyed hair, good taste in music, vocal on political issues, occasionally attracted to the same gender, etc. They had so much in common.

The bell rang, and the teacher that had been sitting behind the desk sifting through papers stood up and began to introduce himself as Mr. Weekes.

_Mr. Weekes._ Josh remembered hearing someone (probably Brendon) call him hot. He didn't get crushes on teachers, but he could understand why someone (yes, it was definitely Brendon that was talking about him) might have one on him. He had perfect brown hair, deep eyes, and was _really tall._ Despite his height, he didn't seem intimidating at all; his smile was warm and welcoming. Josh had already decided that he would like this teacher. His worries about getting kicked out of the class again were suddenly pushed to the back of his head.

He suddenly realized that he had no idea what was being said when he saw some people stand up and leave the room. He decided to stay where he was and hoped that he wasn't supposed to leave with the others.

Mr. Weekes began explaining a project involving them creating an example of what they might hope to do in the newspaper this year. Josh hadn't really thought about what he wanted to do, and, technically, he had no experience with newspaper whatsoever. He decided that he would write something extremely political. _If they're gonna kick me out, they might as well get it over with as soon as possible,_  he figured.

Once he had an idea, he got to work. The words seemed to flow out of him, and it got more exciting as he wrote on. He was going to like this class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEATH OF A BACHELOR COMES OUT ON FRIDAY AND IM PUMPED 
> 
> if you guys haven't heard BØRNS yet 10/10 would recommend
> 
> feel free to talk to me about stuff like your pets or your favorite color or some local band you just discovered i love reading stuff! 
> 
> and if ur writing a fic and want me to check it out, let me know!


	7. tyler turns in his article

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler knows who joshua dun is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> important things:
> 
> 1\. DEATH OF A BACHELOR
> 
> 2\. tyjo is a lil homophobic in this chapter but no slurs or direct offense he just thinks conservative things as always
> 
> 3\. italicized sections are flashbacks to politics classes throughout the week sorry if it's confusing

"DON'T TOUCH IT!"

"Tyler, it's a piece of paper," Jenna laughed.

Frantically grabbing the paper out of her hands, Tyler explained, for the third time that day, "This is not just a _piece of paper_. This is what makes me editor of the politics section of the newspaper. This is what makes me beat Joshua Dun."

Tyler had finally found out the redhead's name.

/////////////////////

_"Tyler Joseph and Joshua Dun? You'll be partners for this semester," the politics teacher rattled off of her list of assigned project partners._

_Tyler looked around the room. He didn't know a Joshua D-_

_"Hi, you're Tyler, right?"_

_Tyler winced as he realized where the voice was coming from. He turned to face the head of bright red hair, slightly nodding._

_"Cool, I'm Josh."_

_Tyler nodded again. He wasn't speaking to him until he needed to._

_/////////////////////_

Jenna laughed at him, snapping him out of his trance. She clearly did not understand how important this was to him. "I'm sure your article is perfect," she giggled, leaning in to kiss him on the nose. She knew that Tyler couldn't resist when she did that, and she used it to her advantage.

The bell rang, sending them their different ways. Tyler's focus went from dreamy thoughts about his girlfriend back to his important political battle.

/////////////////////

_"You're in newspaper, right?"_

_Tyler looked up from the homework that he had started to avoid talking to Joshua Dun. Once again, he curtly nodded. He had ended their interactions with this for all of yesterday, and planned to keep it the same way today, too. Every day, if he could._

_"That's cool. What are you doing for the project?"_

_Oh no. A question that required a verbal answer._

_"An article on politics," he said as disinterestedly as possible._

_"Hey, me too! Maybe we'll end up working together."_

_Any last hopes Tyler had for staying uninvolved with Joshua Dun flew out the window._

_Before he could groan, the teacher walked in, cutting them off._

_Tyler's life was over._

/////////////////////

Tyler took a deep breath and walked into the newspaper room. The first thing he saw was Joshua Dun waving at him, like he had every day since they were assigned as politics partners on the second day of school.

_Why doesn't he understand that we're rivals?_ Tyler thought to himself for the thousandth time.

He grumbled and sat in his seat with Mark, who was shuffling through some pictures, whispering something about adjusting the balance to himself under his breath.

/////////////////////

_"What do you think of Mr. Weekes?"_

_It was Thursday, and Joshua was still trying to talk to him. Why couldn't he take a hint?_

_Tyler sighed and shrugged. A monotonous response, as usual._

_"I think he's pretty cool. I've talked with him after class, and he has some great ideas for the paper. He made me add him on snapchat, too. His story is literal gold–he's such a dad. Here let me show you–"_

_"No, thanks."_

_What did Tyler care about a teacher's snapchat story? He didn't even know what that was. His parents warned him to stay off of social media, so that's what he did._

_"Oh, okay."_

_He looked slightly disheartened. Tyler almost felt bad. Almost._

_The look of enthusiasm_ _returned to Joshua's face. He continued talking, something about his friend having a crush on Mr. Weekes._

_Tyler really wasn't paying attention, but his brain picked out the words "his boyfriend." Confused, he accidentally made eye contact with Joshua._

_"You know Brendon Urie, right? He keeps flirting with Mr. Weekes but his boyfriend Ryan gets so pissed–"_

_"Oh."_

_Tyler couldn't believe it. Brendon used to go to his church when they were little. They did a youth group together, and were actually pretty good friends. But as they got older, Brendon slowly stopped coming to mass altogether, and Tyler never knew why. He had asked his mom once, and she told him that sometimes people get lost on their path. He had left it at that, but now he knew what she really meant._

_Tyler never really heard much about gay people. His parents refused to talk about it, but he read in the bible that it was a sin. Brendon was a sinner._

_They were quiet for the rest of the period._

/////////////////////

"Now, would you please pass forward your projects?" Mr. Weekes, who Tyler had just realized was talking, announced.

"I'll be grading them over the weekend and on Monday I'll begin assigning editors. You have the rest of the period to do whatever you want," the teacher said with a smile.

Tyler immediately began his French homework. He wasn't really that good at it, but Jenna was, and he loved hearing her talk. Immediately, he started thinking about her: the way her hair flowed in the wind, her bright blue eyes that crinkled at the ends when she smiled and made Tyler feel all tingly inside, the sound of her laugh, how she always complimented other girls' outfits–

"Hey, Tyler!"

Why wouldn't Josh leave him alone?

Tyler mumbled his usual half-hearted hello, and kept working.

"Oh, you take French? That's cool, my sister used to. She might still take it, I actually don't know–" He trailed off, getting an uncharacteristic look of sadness in his eyes.

Tyler was slightly curious as to why that seemed to bother him, but he wasn't going to talk to Joshua unless he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello talk to me about death of a bachelor


	8. josh turns in his article

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just like last chapter, the italicized sections are flashbacks to politics classes throughout the week. it made sense as i was writing, i promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for taking forever to update i had this fully written but then it got deleted right as i was about to post so i had to rewrite it and i'm also very lazy
> 
> there's gonna be a super special bonus chapter next

"DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Ashley immediately let go of the paper. When Josh yelled, he meant it. She smiled as he straightened out the slightly bent corners of his article "You really want to impress this guy," she laughed.

Josh practically recited, "YES! Tyler Joseph needs to like me."

He had finally learned the name of the mysteriously intriguing boy in his politics class.  

/////////////////////

_"Tyler Joseph and Joshua Dun? You'll be partners for this semester."_

_Josh didn't know anyone's name. He watched as everyone paired up until there was one person left–the boy sitting next to him._

_He immediately realized that this must be Tyler. This was perfect, he had already decided that he liked this guy. Platonically, of course._

_He knew he couldn't screw up his first impression for his potential best friend. He cleared his throat and swore he heard his voice crack as he forced out a cheery, "H-Hi, you're Tyler right?"_

_Josh saw the boy ever-so-slightly wince, turn around like it physically pained him to do so, and give him the world's coldest nod._

_Josh wasn't an idiot. In fact, he was actually very smart. So, he immediately could tell that Tyler Joseph did not like him. Hated him, even._

_He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but he forced himself to maintain his pleasantly indifferent expression and introduced himself._

_When Josh told himself that he'd do something, he did it. And right then and there, he decided that he was going to do whatever it took to make Tyler Joseph like him._

/////////////////////

"I just don't understand why he doesn't like you," Ashley laughed. "You're a literal ray of sunshine, it's impossible to hate you."

" _Exactly!_ " he moaned, stuffing his face into his girlfriend's lap.

"Jishwa!"

Josh perked up at Brendon's voice. "Beebo!"

"You owe me money for Taco Bell."

"Nice try, Beeb. You lost a bet."

"I know, I know. But I'm broke and Ryan won't give me my paycheck early."

Ryan, who had been leaning on Brendon's shoulder the whole time, laughed. "I did give it to you early–you just spent it already."

"Alright," Josh started, "double or nothing. If you can go _one whole day_ –not just an hour this time–without touching your hair, I'll pay you for the burrito and I'll buy you burritos for the rest of the week. But, if you touch your hair, you owe me burritos for the next two weeks."

Brendon sighed. He fixed his hair one last time and stretched out his hand. "Deal," he groaned.

Josh grinned as he shook his friend's hand. Brendon didn't stand a chance.

Ryan knew this, too. "There's no way you're gonna win this, honey," he laughed. He turned Brendon's chin toward his and leaned in–

–and messed up his perfectly styled quiff.

"Ryan Ross, you _son of a_ –"

Everyone was laughing at this point, drowning out his string of choice words.

Brendon's hair had never looked so imperfect for longer than two seconds.

Brendon himself had never looked so conflicted in his life.

He eventually took a deep breath and smiled. "You owe me a raise just for that," he half-joked, gently shoving Ryan.

"Not a chance, pretty boy," Ryan shoved back as the bell rang.

The two boys walked away to their next class, holding hands as Ryan ran his fingers through Brendon's hair as much as possible, just to piss him off.

Meanwhile, Josh and Ashley had collapsed to the ground laughing.

"We're gonna have to find someone to watch him to make sure he doesn't cheat," Ashley eventually choked out.

"Ryan will," Josh grinned back, "and we'll be able to keep an eye on him at work later."

They eventually helped each other up and kissed as they parted ways. Josh's mind immediately flew back to the now slightly crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

/////////////////////

_It was their second day of being partners in politics, and Tyler still hadn't said a word. Josh made it his goal of the day to simply make him speak. He had planned out some potential conversation starters last night while he FaceTimed Ashley._

_He took a quick breath and confidently started, "You're in newspaper, right?"_

_A short nod. As usual. But Josh was prepared this time._

_"That's cool. What are you doing for the project?" Josh was trying to stop from grinning as he watched Tyler's face drop at the realization that he would have to actually say something._

_"An article on politics," he said in the most bored tone of voice that Josh had ever heard._

_Josh liked his voice. It sounded happy and childish like the color light blue, but also deep and serious like dark blue at the same time. Almost like there were two halves to it._

_He was going to make Tyler Joseph talk a lot more._

_Josh said something about being excited to work with him, because his article was on the same topic, but he didn't even really care what he was saying. Tyler Joseph's voice was beautiful._

/////////////////////

Josh took his normal seat next to a guy named Jack. In the past week, they had become pretty good friends. They were talking about barbecues for some reason when Tyler Joseph walked in.

Josh immediately smiled and waved at him, just like he had been doing all week. Tyler gave his normal ultra-fake half–no, not even a half, more like a quarter—smile paired with a slight eye roll, just like he had been doing all week.

Jack had noticed this scenario, too. "Look, if you like him, go talk to him already. This waving thing you've got going on isn't working."

Josh laughed, "Nah, it's not like that. I have a girlfriend. But we're project partners in politics, so I'm trying to get to know him, right? Well, he hates me, and I have _absolutely no idea why._ "

Jack smiled, "Tyler isn't the most social person on the planet. He doesn't talk to people unless he has to. I don't think he hates you."

"I'm not so sure," Josh sighed.

Mr. Weekes then had the class pass forward their projects and dismissed them for the rest of the period. Josh talked with Jack for a while.

"So what do you know about Tyler?" he prodded.

Jack laughed. "Well, he's an amazing writer. Pretty conservative, though. One of those religious families. Full on Trump supporter. He published this article about him on the online newspaper over summer once. Now, I'm one of the most anti-Trump people on the planet, but, just for a second, this article made support him. I almost cried, it was insane."

The word "conservative" floated through Josh's head as he thought back to the day before.

/////////////////////

_After another night of planning out entire conversations, Josh walked into politics class fully prepared to make Tyler Joseph talk._

_He was sitting there, hunched over his homework, doing his best to look as unapproachable as possible. Josh was ready to get him to crack._

_"What do you think of Mr. Weekes?" Josh sat back, proud of himself. Tyler would have to respond–_

_–with a shrug._

_Tyler was getting even better at appearing nonchalant, if that was possible._

_But Josh was prepared. He followed his mental flow chart to the next possible way to approach Tyler._

_He started talking about Mr. Weekes.  
As planned, he mentioned the teacher's Snapchat story, and was just starting to pull out his phone to show Tyler when–_

_"No, thanks."_

_Josh could feel all of the well thought out get-Tyler-to-care plans in his head being thrown into a metaphorical bonfire._

_He pulled himself together and started rambling about something. Anything. It didn't really matter at this point. He had ruined everything._

_But then, a miracle occurred. Tyler was suddenly looking at him. Perfect eye contact. Josh realized that he really liked his eyes. They were brown, but not a boring brown. They were full of emotion, like windows to his soul._

_Josh suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be saying something. He struggled to recall what he was talking about. After racking his entire brain, he realized he was talking about Brendon flirting with Mr. Weekes. He started to elaborate. This wasn't that interesting of a topic, but if Tyler wanted to hear about it–_

_"Oh."_

_Tyler looked confused and overwhelmed, like what Josh had said was life-changing news. He returned to his introverted disposition, still looking slightly shocked._

_Josh decided to leave it at that for the period._

/////////////////////

"Well?" Jack's voice snapped Josh back to focus.

"What?" Josh yawned.

"Are you gonna go talk to him or what?"

"What? No, I'm not talking to Tyler. I haven't planned out anything to say, I'll just awkwardly stand there and piss him off and that's not gonna help."

Jack burst out laughing. "That's pathetic. Go talk to him right now."

"Absolutely no–JACK WHAT THE FRICK–"

Jack had literally kicked him out of his chair and slid into the spot where he had been sitting. "I'm not getting up until you talk to him. Go."

After rolling on the ground for a minute, Josh gave up and slowly walked over to Tyler, trying to act like he didn't care. He looked back at Jack, who was still sitting in his seat, grinning his head off.

Josh started to panic. He had no idea what he was going to say. Tyler was going to hate him more because of this, he never should have come–

"Hey, Tyler!"

He was shocked by the sound of his own voice.

Tyler mumbled something similar to a greeting. That was progress.

Josh was desperate for something to talk about. He noticed Tyler working on French homework. He could talk about that. He commenced his subconscious rambling as he thought about his sister, who took French. She used to teach him pretty-sounding phrases as she learned them. At one point he knew what they were and what they meant, but those memories had started to fade. He wondered if his sister still took French. He hadn't heard anything from her in a while–

Tyler was looking at him again. Josh suddenly realized that he had been saying _everything_  that he had been thinking for the past five minutes. Embarrassed, he immediately fixed his eyes upon the ground. He thought he saw a flicker of concern in Tyler's eyes, but he was probably just imagining it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so if i'm ever taking to long to post and you're feeling fluff deprived:
> 
> 1\. i have some fluffy oneshots prewritten for when i don't have time to write so if you're into that then yeah (sorry lame self promo)
> 
> 2\. my friend thefaultindeanseyes writes some reallyreallyreally good fics !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they update way more than me !!!!!!!! seriously check that stuff out 274/10 would recommend 
> 
> also i really like talking to people so here is the 
> 
> Official Question of the Chapter™
> 
> what's your favorite bassline? don't even try to tell me you don't have one bc you know you do (dance dance f r i c k yeah)
> 
> but yeah talk about whatever please i care about people


	9. brendon makes a bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendon can't touch his hair for 24 whole hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo sorry i'm a slow writer
> 
> but this fic almost has 1000 hits!!!!!! that's insane!!!!!!! thanks, guys/gals/non-binary pals!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brendon had taken note of the exact time he had made the bet: 12:21. He just had to get through 24 hours of the worst hair day ever.

12:32

Ryan would not stop playing with his hair as they walked to class. Brendon knew he was just doing it to piss him off, but it made his heart feel like those pictures of molten lava that you see on tumblr that you want to stick your hands in.

12:39

Everyone stared as Brendon and Ryan walked into music class. Not because they were holding hands–they had been dating for years–but because of Brendon's hair.

There were rumors that it was a wig. Most people had never seen it move, but even if they had seen a few hairs out of place, they would also have seen Brendon fixing it within nanoseconds. So when his hair was in its current state of unruliness, and he seemed to be doing nothing to change it, everyone knew something was up.

"I have two weeks of Taco Bell on the line," Brendon announced to the class.

Everyone understood.

12:52

His hair itched.

1:17

His hair _really_  itched.

1:24

"Ryan," Brendon whispered.

"Hm." Ryan barely looked up from his guitar.

"My head itches."

Ryan smiled."Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd even last this long–"

"No. I'm not losing this. Scratch my head for me. Please."

Ryan strummed out a few chords, looking up at the ceiling as if he was thinking really hard about this. He eventually grinned and shook his head. "If I help you, it's cheating. You've gotta figure this out on your own," he said innocently.

"You just want to see me lose."

"That too."

Brendon groaned and banged his head on a music stand. His head felt like it was being attacked by mosquitos. Suddenly, he got an idea. He angled the edge of the music stand toward him and started rubbing his head on it. He honestly didn't even care about how dumb he looked at this point, this felt amazing.

2:00

The final bell of the day rang, dismissing class.

Ryan and Brendon started walking to their van, but as they walked through the main quad in the middle of the campus, they got a couple dirty looks from a few homophobic cheerleaders (they had mentally created a list of every homophobe in the entire school so they could make sure to make out near them).

Brendon wanted to piss them off, and he knew just how to do it. He stopped walking. "Hey, Ryan!" he shouted.

"Oh, no," Ryan groaned.

"I'm gonna do a backflip!"

"No, not again–"

"Spot me, babe!" Brendon was already sprinting to a low wall on the edge of the grass. He was so ready to show up these cheerleaders.

"Okay, ready? 3...2...1...–"

He _almost_  had it.

Brendon was laying on his back in a pile of grass. At first, he was laughing at himself, but then he remembered his  _hair._  

Panicking, he stood up and tried violently shaking his head. It really did nothing, he still had a ridiculous amount of grass in his hair. And there was _nothing he could do about it._

Ryan finally looked up from his phone and instantly burst out laughing.

"Ryan, you have to help me–"

"No."

"–I can't go walking around with grass in my hair, please–"

"Absolutely not."

Brendon huffed out a breath and tried a second attempt at shaking his hair out. Meanwhile, his head started itching again. This was going to be a long day.

2:24

"Ryan, why are we at Walmart?"

"We're out of toilet paper and Cheez-Its. I'll be here waiting for you in the car." Brendon noticed the corners of his mouth slightly curl up.

"Ryan, there is no way–"

"Nobody even knows you in there."

"Why can't you go?"

"I have to fill out some paperwork for the shop."

Brendon rolled his eyes. "Right, sure. Get out of the car, I'm not doing this alone."

"I'll meet you in the car, Beeb."

"Ryan, please–"

"Bye, honey," Ryan giggled as he slammed the door on him and drove to the nearest parking spot. Brendon flipped him off as he sped away.

He was pretty sure they didn't even need toilet paper.

2:29

"That was fast," Ryan grinned smugly as his boyfriend slammed the door to the van. Brendon had already ripped open the box of Cheez-Its and was eating them by the handful. He grumbled back an angry incomprehensible reply between bites.

At least Ryan was enjoying this.

2:57

They pulled into the driveway outside of the music shop. Brendon had been mentally preparing himself for his 5 hour shift for the whole drive over. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. He looked over at Ryan, who was terribly suppressing a smile. It made Brendon feel all tingly inside. Maybe he should embarrass himself more often.

He then took a moment to contemplate which was more important: his hair or Ryan's smile. He was starting to lean towards hair, but instantly changed his mind when he heard Ryan start giggling. He came to the consensus that Ryan Ross Smiles and Ryan Ross Laughs were equally important, and together they were irresistible.

Josh was helping a customer with a drum set, but as soon as he saw Brendon walk in, he collapsed on the ground laughing. Moments later, Ashley did the same. Pretty soon, the entire staff was laughing at Brendon's hair.

He was about to flip everyone off, but Ryan leaned in and whispered, "Don't even think about it. We have customers." Sometimes Ryan knew him better than he knew himself.

So he just played it cool and laughed along with everyone. He could deal with them later. Besides, it wouldn't matter once he got the burritos.

3:06

"Sir, you, um, have some grass in your hair."

This was the third customer to mention it in the past hour. Brendon forced a smile and nodded as he finished scanning the middle-aged woman's items. _Country CDs,_  he noted. He held back from bashing her music taste and wished her a nice day.

4:20 

 _Blaze it_ , he thought. 

4:59

Brendon had been checking his phone nonstop for the past ten minutes. He had one minute until his break. He had remembered that he had left his beanie in the break room and was ready to finally cover up his hair.

5:00

He wasted no time shutting down his cash register. Patrick, who was the other cashier of the hour, giggled as he frantically made a break for the back room. He had his hand on the doorknob, but suddenly someone was tapping his shoulder.

"Excuse me, could you get an instrument down for me?"

Brendon internally groaned for a few seconds. He was so close. But he put on a friendly grin as he whirled around, forcing a cheery, "Yes, of course–"

But he stopped short as he realized that he knew this guy. He struggled to recall his name, but he remembered quickly enough. "Oh, hey, Tyler!"

He hadn't talked to Tyler since the last time he went to church. That was years ago, about a few months after he met Ryan. He had seen him around school sometimes, but he really tried to avoid any remnants of his old religion.

Tyler's face slightly dropped. "Oh, uh, hello. I-I can ask someone else–"

"No, no, I can get it for you," he grinned. "What do you need?"

Tyler looked very uncomfortable. He had been a good friend of Brendon's when they were little. Considering he was now openly gay, he could tell that things had changed.

"Uh, I, uh, wanted to look at a, a ukulele," Tyler forced out, keeping his eyes focused on the ground.

"Of course!" Brendon said in his typical cheerful tone of voice.

He began talking aimlessly, trying to lighten the mood somehow as he led him towards the ukulele display.

Tyler remained dead silent.

After what seemed like an hour of walking, even though the store was ridiculously small, they approached the wall of ukuleles.

"So, which one do you want?" Brendon smiled.

Tyler looked them over. "Uh, the one on the top right," he quickly decided.

 _Of course it's on the top rack,_  Brendon internally pouted. He was dying to put on that beanie at this point. He slightly sighed and yelled, "Jishwa! Can you bring me the ladder?"

"Yeah, just a second, Beeb!" Josh yelled from the back room. A few moments later, Josh appeared with the ladder. "Alright here you g–oh, Tyler! Hi!" he grinned.

Brendon noted that Tyler looked even more uncomfortable than before. "Hi, Joshua," he grumbled.

Josh laughed as he began setting up the ladder. "You can call me Josh. What do you need me to get down?"

"The ukulele on the top right," Brendon informed him, "but I can get it down if you're busy." He silently wondered how these two knew each other.

"No, I got it. I think Ryan said he wanted to talk to you in the back. I didn't know you played, Tyler," Josh smiled. Tyler shrugged.

Brendon decided to leave the two to their obviously awkward conversation and ran off to the break room.

5:07

Brendon was bummed that he had already missed half of his break. He decided that he'd go find his beanie and then go talk to Ryan. He opened the door to the break room–

–and everyone attacked him with silly string.

"WHAT THE F–" Ryan glared at him, the walls were thin enough for customers to hear him yelling, "–rick."

Everyone was laughing, they thought they were so clever. Brendon now flipped them all off and began looking for his beanie. He found it under a chair and was about to put it on his head when–

"BRENDON, NO!" someone yelled.

Suddenly everyone was in an uproar about how "putting on a hat is touching your hair!"

Brendon groaned and sprawled out across the cheap couch. He was never making a bet again.

5:15

"Wake up, honey, your break's over," he could hear Ryan giggle. He let out some groans into the pillow and rolled onto the ground. He was not ready to go back out there with his hair like this.

Then Ryan was lying on the ground next to him.

Then Ryan was gently kissing the hairs on the back of his neck. "Time to go to work," he said in a voice just above a whisper.

Then Brendon was practically flying off of the ground.

He added neck kisses to the rapidly growing list of Irresistible Things Ryan Ross Does as he skipped out to the cash register for the remaining two hours and forty-five minutes of his shift.

He saw that Tyler was still talking to Josh by the ukuleles. As he stuffed some drumsticks into a customer's bag, he suddenly recalled Josh ranting about him. They were project partners or something. Josh had said something about the boy hating him, but they seemed to be getting along fine now.

5:21

Tyler finally walked over to the register to pay for his ukulele. He looked slightly less awkward than before. They made brief small talk as Brendon sent him away with a smile and a "thankyouforshoppinghaveaniceday."

7:59

"Hey, B, you can close up now, everyone's gone," Ryan called out.

Brendon turned off the cash register and took a deep breath in relief. He was about to pass out. Not touching his hair was exhausting. He was ready to curl up in a ball and watch Star Wars with Ryan and the rest of the Cheez-Its.

8:27

Somehow Brendon's movie night plan turned into a group date.

Ryan was cuddled up next to him on the couch, hand running through his hair as they shared a bowl of popcorn.

Josh and Ashley were to his left, in a serious competition to see who could land the most popcorn in his hair. They had come over to "supervise" Brendon.

Joe and Melanie were on the floor, just throwing popcorn at each other. They didn't really care too much about Brendon's hair, but they had been working the late shift and decided to crash the date, too.

Even though he was being pelted by any snack food that Josh and Ashley could get their hands on, Brendon couldn't think of anywhere he'd rather be. He cuddled up a little closer to Ryan as he started the second movie.

11:47

Everyone had fallen asleep halfway through Episode III.

Except Brendon.

His hair itched again. Nobody would even know if he just–

Suddenly Ryan was slapping his hand down, eyes still closed. "Nice try," he mumbled as he yawned and fell back asleep.

Brendon decided right then that Ryan Ross possessed the force. He began thinking out a whole Star Wars conspiracy theory, but pretty soon he was asleep, too.

_Saturday_

8:56

Brendon woke up to the smell of coffee. Everyone around him was asleep, except Ryan, who he figured was the one making coffee.

He rolled off of the couch and stumbled his way into the kitchen. There, at the counter, was his boyfriend. He was facing away from Brendon, pouring coffee from the pot into mugs. The small window above the sink was letting in the almost-afternoon sun rays that reflected off of his hair perfectly. As if on cue, he absently ran his fingers through his messy mane. Brendon decided that Morning Ryan was pretty important, too.

"Morning, B," Ryan sighed, snapping him out of his trance. He still hadn't turned around. _Definitely the force,_  Brendon concluded.

"Morning, Ry," he yawned back. He started to lift his hand to fix his morning hair, but caught himself just in time.

Ryan handed him his coffee mug. "I can't believe you've lasted this long," he giggled.

"I can't believe you don't believe in me," he smirked back. Truthfully, he didn't know how he'd done it, either.

Suddenly, Ryan was giving him a funny look, like he had an idea. It made Brendon nervous.

"Alright, I've got a deal. If you touch your hair right now, I won't tell them. But you have to make me a cinnamon roll."

Brendon sprinted to the freezer and pulled out the Pillsbury dough in seconds. He turned on the oven and tore off to the mirror above the kitchen table.

It pained him to look at himself.

Quickly, he began ripping out clumps of grass and silly string. He scratched the itch that had been driving him crazy and gave his quiff one final style. He looked perfect again.

Sighing in relief, he went back to the kitchen to make breakfast. Ryan looked amused as he sipped his coffee, pretending to read the latest issue of Rolling Stone sitting on the counter.

Brendon threw on his frilly apron that he wore every time he baked. Gerard had given it to him as a gift when he first moved in with Ryan when they both turned 18, and even though it was a joke, he still loved it.

9:22

The oven beeped, signaling that the cinnamon rolls were ready. Brendon pulled them out and began icing, making sure to put extra on his and Ryan's.

9:25

Brendon placed a roll on a plate and handed it to his still smugly grinning boyfriend. "Here's your cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll," he grinned, lightly kissing the tip of his nose.

"Thanks, Beeb," Ryan smiled back.

9:34

Josh stumbled into the kitchen carrying Ashley in his arms. He set his girlfriend down and began rubbing his eyes. "We smelt cinnamon rolls and–"

"BRENDON TOUCHED HIS HAIR!" Ashley screamed, cutting him off.

Josh and Ashley began jumping around the apartment and yelling, celebrating the victory.

Brendon was furious. "You said you wouldn't tell them, Ry!" he tried to yell over them.

Ryan remained calm and sipped his coffee. "I didn't," he smiled. "However, I think they can tell that you touched it when you completely restyle your hair and take out all of the things that were in it yesterday."

Brendon Urie was an idiot. More specifically, a broke idiot. He sighed. "Alright, Jishwa, you win."

Josh laughed. "I guess you win, too, Ryan."

" _What?_ " Brendon yelled, turning to glare at his boyfriend.

Ryan smiled innocently. "I may have made a side bet."

"A _side bet?_  Ryan, are you serious?"

He dunked a piece of his cinnamon roll into his coffee and explained, "I made a deal with Josh that if I wad the one that got you to touch your hair, I got half of the burritos. So, basically, a bet I knew I could win."

Brendon could've strangled Ryan right then. Instead, for some reason, he hugged him. "I hate you so much," he laughed in his ear, even though he tried to sound angry. He was angry. But he couldn't stop smiling. He hated Ryan sometimes.

Ryan messed up his hair again. "I know, honey," he giggled. "Now go wake up Joe and Melanie before Josh steals their cinnamon rolls."

"Hey, now," Josh said between mouthfuls.

Brendon walked into the living room to find the two cuddled up on the floor, still asleep somehow even though everyone had been yelling. He decided that since screaming at them probably wouldn't wake them up, the best strategy would be to interfere with their cuddle session. He shoved himself between the two.

Joe yawned and sat up. "Brendon, what the f–"

"Your hair!" Melanie laughed, still half-asleep. "I really thought you could do it, Beebo."

"Well, sometimes my boyfriend is too smart for me. Now get up, lovebirds, I made breakfast."

The two pushed off of Brendon and raced each other to the kitchen. Brendon followed quickly after.

When they got there, Ashley was perched on Josh's back as they both looked at Ryan's phone. "Joe! Melanie! My sweet children! Get over here, we're watching Beeb's highlight reel," she grinned.

Brendon braced himself, wrapping his arms around Ryan so he could see his phone as he tapped his snapchat story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i don't even like star wars," i tell myself as i write it into my fic
> 
> also important question for my spanish-speaking non-binary friends (if you exist please speak up)
> 
> HOW DO YOU DO IT  
> LIKE ALL OF THE ADJECTIVES ARE SPECIFIED BY GENDER LIKE FOR A GUY IT WOULD END IN O BUT FOR A GIRL IT WOULD END IN A BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE AGENDER WHAT DO YOU DO I WORRY ABOUT YOU PEOPLE INSTEAD OF PAYING ATTENTION IN SPANISH
> 
> also while thinking of my genderqueer pals what would we call a non-binary child of royalty bc prince and princess are too gender specific 
> 
> please help i need answers


	10. ryan makes a bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you've read Brendon Urie Not Touching His Hair, now get ready for Ryan Ross Touching Brendon Urie's Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh how it's been so long
> 
> we're so sorry we've been gone
> 
> we were busy writing things for
> 
> schoooooool

Ryan had taken note of the exact time Brendon had made the bet: 12:21. He had to make the best of these next 24 hours.

12:32

Ryan decided to play with Brendon's hair as they walked to class. His initial plan was to piss him off, but then he realized how amazing Brendon's hair felt. He made the quick decision to do this as often as possible today.

12:39  
  
Everyone stared at Brendon as he walked into the room. Ryan held his breath to keep himself from laughing.

He had started the rumors that it was a wig. He thought it was ridiculous that everyone would obsess over something as stupid as hair, so he constantly made fun of it. Truthfully, there were few things he loved as much as Brendon's hair, but there's no way he'd tell anyone that. He really was excited to mess with it today because it was always off-limits.

"I have two weeks of Taco Bell on the line," Brendon announced to the class.

Ryan collapsed on the ground laughing.

12:52

He tried to play it cool, but he was keeping a constant eye on Brendon for any sign of struggle.

1:17

Brendon kept fidgeting. Ryan noted every single movement.

1:24

"Ryan," Brendon whispered.

"Hm." Ryan tried to feign disinterest, but he knew what was coming.

"I need to scratch my head."

Ryan couldn't hold back a grin. "Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd even last this long–"

"No. I'm not losing this. Scratch my head for me. Please." He looked so desperate.

Deep down, Ryan was aching to touch his hair again. But, he had to hold strong. Brendon needed to lose a bet every now and then. He came up with some excuse and tried not to smile at how pissed-off he looked.

"You just want to see me lose." Brendon really was adorable when he pretended to mad at him.

Ryan went back to his guitar, thinking about other adorable things about Brendon, letting the chords associated with them fall out. Normally he had a harder time putting these together, but this just felt so natural. He would look at Brendon and they would just be there.

However, this time when he looked up, Brendon was scratching his head on a music stand like a bear scratching its back on a tree.

His first thought, of course, was to videotape this moment and release it onto social media.

2:00

The final bell of the day rang, dismissing class. Ryan shoved his hand in Brendon's hair and began walking them to his van.

He noticed the two most homophobic cheerleaders on campus walk past them. He normally kept to himself, but he knew Brendon wouldn't.

As if on cue, Brendon jolted to a stop. "Hey, Ryan!" he shouted.

"Oh, no," Ryan groaned. He knew what was coming.

"I'm gonna do a backflip!"

"No, not again–"

Brendon was already lined up for the flip, shouting commands at Ryan, who actually did find his attempts amusing. He would never admit it, of course.

Instead, he snapchatted it.

"Okay, ready? 3...2...1...–"

Ryan watched Brendon fall flat on his back through his phone screen. He had gotten closer than last time. That wasn't saying much.

Ryan kept watching the looping video over and over again, trying to decide whether it was funnier sped up, slowed down, or backwards.

After settling with slow-motion, Ryan looked up from his phone to see the bird's nest of grass stuck in his boyfriend's hair.

"Ryan, you have to help me–" he started, desperation practically oozing out of him.

Ryan shut him down right away. He decided that today was the greatest day of his life.

After a few more pleas for help, Brendon tried shaking out his hair. It didn't work, of course, but he looked ridiculous.

 _shake that grass_ , Ryan captioned the video.

2:24

"Ryan, why are we at Walmart?"

Ryan had no idea why he drove to Walmart. He made a wrong turn after being distracted by the living bush sitting next to him in the van, but he figured he might as well take advantage of the situation. He gave Brendon a shopping list.

"Ryan, there is no way–"

He couldn't help smiling, he was so mean. But Brendon deserved it.

"Why can't you go?"

He came up with an excuse. Obviously not a good one, for Brendon saw right through it.

"Right, sure. Get out of the car, I'm not doing this alone."

"I'll meet you in the car, Beeb," he smiled, holding back tears.

"Ryan, please–"

"Bye, honey." He accidentally let out a giggle. Driving away, he caught his boyfriend flipping him off in the rear view mirror. He snapped a picture of it, captioned _love you too, honey._

2:29

"That was fast," Ryan noted, just to be annoying.

Brendon had already started tearing apart the Cheez-Its. He looked miserable, but equally hilarious.

Ryan was enjoying this.

2:57

They pulled into the driveway outside of the music shop. Ryan was holding back a smile–he knew this was going to be awful.

He looked over at Brendon, who was looking at the doors of the music shop like they were the gates of hell. He may have had the world's biggest ego, but he was still pretty cute.

He snapped a picture of him, drawing in flames and a sign saying "Welcome to Hell." He accidentally laughed at himself and hoped Brendon didn't hear.

Finishing his masterpiece with a few more red scribbles, Ryan followed Brendon into the store, only to be surrounded by fits of laughter.

Ryan could see the pain in Brendon's eyes as his middle fingers itched to rise (he also made a mental note to write that down later as a potential song lyric). But he had to keep his reputation in mind. The store was already viewed as a house of disrespectful teenagers and he aimed to disprove that.

He nudged his boyfriend, quietly voicing his disapproval. Brendon took a deep breath and seemed to relax more. He knew that Brendon took in more judgment than people realized, and he was proud of him for taking this hit to his self-esteem. But he wouldn't say that.

3:06

Ryan was re-tuning the guitars hanging on the store walls when Josh came up to him with a box of cello strings.

"Do you want these stored in the back room or in the–"

"Look at him, Josh," Ryan grinned. He had been staring at Brendon for the past hour, watching his hands twitch. The guitars were probably extremely out of tune with the lack of attention he had paid to his job, but that was irrelevant.

Josh grinned back at him. "You really love him."

"Of course," Ryan smiled. "So I want to make a side bet with you. If _I_ can get Brendon to touch his hair, I get half of the burritos. You still win and he can stop torturing himself. Deal?"

Josh mocked being deep in thought. "Do I get a raise?" he tried.

"I'm making a bet with you for burritos, do you think I have money?"

"Alright, deal."

4:59

"Okay, everyone, one minute!" Ryan shouted to the entire staff in the breakroom.

Gerard groaned, "Ryan, why are we doing this–"

"Because, Brendon needs to lose. Now get your silly string out or you're fired."

Gerard rolled his eyes. Ryan threatened to fire everyone. It practically broke a record for the World's Emptiest Threat.

5:00

"OKAY, OKAY, EVERYONE CALM DOWN," Ryan shouted, mostly at himself. "HE'S GONNA WALK IN THE DOOR AND WE'RE GONNA SHOOT HIS HAIR WITH SILLY STRING–"

"We get it, you can't come up with good pranks," said Pete, pulling a slice of cold pizza out of the refrigerator. "Actually, this isn't even a prank. This is just embarrassing, what's even the point Ryro?"

Ryan ignored him. "Grab some silly string."

"Pass. Hey, Joe, can you pass me the TV remote?"

Joe, sitting on the couch with Melanie, leaned over the back of the couch so he could see Pete upside down and stayed there for a few seconds. "Nah," he eventually yawned, standing up and carrying Melanie on his back over to Ryan. "Let's tag up some hair," Joe yawned again, grabbing two cans of silly string.

5:07

Brendon was never late to break. Ever.

Ryan was getting nervous. He didn't really know why. Pete was right, this was dumb. He was about to send everyone back to work when someone shouted–

"THE FOREHEAD IS COMING!"

Ryan frantically whipped out his phone, ready to record the entire thing.

It was less dumb than he feared it would be.

It was even less dumb in slow-mo.

The video caught the beginnings of "WHAT THE F–" but Ryan cut him off before he could finish.

But the video caught the look of terror in Brendon's eyes, and that was priceless.

Ryan was smiling, ready for him to crack. But, he just shrugged it off and walked away. Ryan needed a new plan–

"BRENDON, NO!" someone yelled.

He thought he could put on a hat. He almost lost Ryan this side bet.

5:15

Brendon lied flat on his face for his whole break. Ryan pitied him. He just looked so adorably weak.

He tried to wake him up. Brendon groaned. Irresistible.

Ryan lied next to him and reveled in his cuteness.

He fell in love with the little hairs on the back of his neck that he had never been allowed to touch and he fell in love with Brendon countless times before that and would continue to fall in love with him every day. He loved Brendon.

And then Brendon ran off to work. He had done his job.

5:23

Ryan was yelling across the room at Frank for not alphabetizing the vinyls (it was the third time he had just shoved them in random spots all week and Ryan had had enough of it) when Josh came bounding up, clearly with something he wanted to say. He seemed to be waiting for Ryan to ask, but Ryan was evil in his chill demeanor and just ignored him.

After almost a minute of continuous grinning, Josh blurted out, "TylerJosephdoesn'thatemeIthinkheplaysukuleleandisintoDeathCabforCutiewe'regonnabebestfriendsforeverheactuallytalkedtomeRyanhe–"

" _Josh,_ " Ryan laughed, "that's great, but why do you care so much about this guy? He's a total homophobe, I thought you verbally attack people like him and get expelled for it."

"Hey now," Josh darkened, "that was one time."

Ryan laughed again. "Right, and the other time it was a teacher."

Josh sifted through the vinyls while giving a pointed look at Ryan. "Yes, a teacher, and with an equally valid reason. Forcing a kid having an anxiety attack to give a speech in front of the entire class is inhumane."

"So you called her a–"

Josh cut him off. "I was angry."

Ryan hadn't meant for him to get this defensive. He tried to lighten the mood. "Well, I guess it's not the end of the world because you still managed to get a job. But don't go insulting people anymore, even if they're trash. It doesn't get you anywhere and I'll have to fire you if you start pissing off customers."

"Oh, sure."

7:59

It was time to close and Brendon hadn't cracked.

Ryan needed backup.

8:27

Ryan turned Brendon's movie night plan into a group date.

He didn't seem too angry about it. Ryan was having a good time touching his hair, too.

Josh and Ashley were to their left. Ryan needed Josh present to see him win his bet. It wasn't hard to convince them to come, they were pretty enthralled with this deal and had to milk this time of Brendon's suffering for what it was worth.

Joe and Melanie showed up too. The more the merrier.

Ryan felt Brendon squeeze in just a little bit closer to him, and he couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be.

11:47

Everyone had fallen asleep.

Except Brendon.

Ryan knew he was awake, he knew him better than anyone. He wasn't really tired anyway, he was going to wait for him to fall asleep first.

He then thought this through. It suddenly sunk in how much he really cared about him. He had always cared about him, but this felt different. Maybe because this was such a subconscious thing, putting Brendon before him. He couldn't imagine himself without him–

Suddenly Brendon's hand was in the air, reaching for his hair. Ryan quickly slapped it down. He couldn't ruin this.

"Nice try," he mumbled as he fake-yawned and pretended to go to sleep.

Ryan stayed up with Brendon for about another half an hour, until he felt him drift off. He thought about how good that felt for a little bit before falling asleep, too.

Saturday

6:36

Ryan was an early riser. Nobody really knew why, or even noticed it that much. He liked to stand at the kitchen sink and look out the window at the street as it slowly woke up. It was his favorite time of day. It reminded him of the vastness of human life, how many people were living their own little realities. Then he'd think about perspective and the fact that people can't involve themselves in everyone else's realities. So many people just didn't have the mental capacity to care. This conflicted Ryan, because he knew he couldn't care either. So he used this time to try to care. He'd try to involve himself in the lives of each person driving past his window. He knew how pointless it was, but it made him feel more connected to the world.

8:54

Ryan knew he was running out of time to win his bet. He had to wake up Brendon.

8:55

He put on a pot of coffee.

8:56

Brendon sleepily trudged his way into the kitchen.

"Morning, B," Ryan sighed, knowing his boyfriend was there without having to look.

"Morning, Ry," he yawned back.

Ryan tried to casually hand him his coffee mug. "I can't believe you've lasted this long," he giggled, honestly surprised.

"I can't believe you don't believe in me," he smirked back. He was getting too cocky. Brendon wasn't that smart.

Then it hit him. _Brendon isn't that smart. It doesn't take much to get him to rat himself out._

"Alright, I've got a deal. If you touch your hair right now, I won't tell them. But you have to make me a cinnamon roll." This was too easy.

Brendon fell right into his trap. Ryan was set for tacos and a cinnamon roll.

He tried to hide his laughter behind a random magazine on the counter. Brendon was such an idiot.

9:25

"Here's your cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll," Brendon grinned, lightly kissing the tip of his nose.

"Thanks, Beeb," Ryan smiled back. He was way too satisfied with himself.

9:34

Finally, the people he needed awake stumbled in.

"We smelt cinnamon rolls and–"

"BRENDON TOUCHED HIS HAIR!" Ashley screamed.

Josh and Ashley began jumping around the apartment and yelling, celebrating the victory. Ryan was jumping around inside his head, but he had to play it cool.

Brendon's face, once again pricelessly clueless. "You said you wouldn't tell them, Ry!"

Ryan, chill as ever, explained to his boyfriend that he, in fact, screwed himself over.

Every inch of pride fell from Brendon's face, and it was a sight to see. "Alright, Jishwa, you win."

Josh laughed. "I guess you win, too, Ryan."

" _What?_ "

If Ryan were good with scrapbooks, he could've filled one with pictures of his face right in this instant. It was an interesting contrast, Brendon's expressiveness paired with his emotionlessness as they caught up on the final bet situation.

Ryan knew Brendon was telling himself that he'd strangle him, but he knew he wouldn't. He'd pretend to be angry but wouldn't pull it off for a second. Ryan knew him too well.

He sent him off to fetch Joe and Melanie. Scrolling through his Instagram feed, he remembered all of his Snapchat hair documentations. The world's most iconic Story.

"Time for a viewing party, guys," Ryan hummed.

Josh and Ashley quickly huddled over, far too excited.

The other three returned to the kitchen and likewise crowded around the phone, ready to make fun of Brendon for the next century.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hello i'm here
> 
> so i'm totally aware that i am not good at writing romantic/sexual/anythingbutplatonic relationships bc i'm ace/aro? so sorry this is all so awkwardly written but it's here so if that's your thing knock youself out
> 
> i also have no idea where i'm going with this really so if you have ideas lmk i guess ! pls talk to me i want friends
> 
> also 100 kudos? that's such an even number thank you all


	11. whoops

hello all

i kindof forgot to keep writing this and now we're at the point in the election where it's a bit irrelevant (rip bernie) 

but anyways, yes, sorry, i'm the worst. all i can suggest is that we all gather here as a band of anti-trumps that also listen to a lot of twenty one pilots. i love talking to people, it boosts my ego. please converse here if you so wish, i'm always a pal

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hot For Teacher](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940431) by [frankiesin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankiesin/pseuds/frankiesin), [Renegade_Angels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renegade_Angels/pseuds/Renegade_Angels)




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